God is calling me

Lately, I’ve been struggling with the idea of my calling. It’s not really hard to figure out why. Summer vacations are ending, students are going back to school, my husband has started on his vicarage, and I’m spending my days on the couch. I have a lot of time to think about my decisions in life, and how this year could have been different for me.

It’s hard not to feel like I’m wasting my life and time while I watch my friends starting another year of teaching, friends buying their first house, friends climbing their way towards their dream job.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked God to enlighten me as to what I’m supposed to be doing here.

The world is so focused on go, go, go, that to even have one lazy day is unfathomable for a vast majority of the people here. If they aren’t at work, they’re off climbing mountains or running Ironmans (Ironmen? the Ironman?). To have a life of lazy days is just unheard of, and lazy isn’t exactly given a positive spin. We have to always be busy, it seems.

When I’ve had a nap and am in a better mindset, I have to remind myself that God is calling me to be where I am right now. Sure, it isn’t necessarily a flashy or exciting life, but it is a purposeful life.

Miguel is working hard to achieve his dreams. I’m here to help him in whatever way I can as he goes down this path. I’m here to be his wife, to love him, and to serve him, whether that means keeping a clean house for him to come home to, having lunch and dinner ready when he gets home, being a sounding board for his ideas, etc. 

I’m also here for my child. The child growing inside of me is counting on me to continue supporting him/her. I have to eat right, exercise right, rest right for this child. And when the baby comes, I’ll be taking care of that child in other ways, feedings, changing diapers, many, many cuddles. 

These may not be glamorous callings, and they may not be what I studied for in school, but it’s what I’m called to do. And really, when I think about it, seriously think about it, I know that I wouldn’t change a thing. God truly does know best, and His call is the only call that matters, not mine.

 

Image taken from Made by Joel. “Tin Can Telephone.”