Experiences · Faith · Gratitude · Personal Reflection

To Have and to Hold

On Tuesday, Miguel and I celebrated three years of marriage. In the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t seem like a lot. We’ve lived a lot more life than that, and we will, Lord willing, live a lot more life. But upon further reflection three years is quite an accomplishment, I think.

I made a Facebook post that said,

Three years has changed us, but it hasn’t changed our vows, and keeping those vows with you is my favorite.

Then I shared some cute pictures of Miguel. It was sweet and stuff.

But it was also very true. We’ve gone through a lot in three years. In three years, we’ve lived in three different states. We started out in Michigan, then Missouri, and now Iowa. That’s three different homes. Four different moves. Three different careers/jobs. Three times meeting brand new people, having brand new neighbors, finding Aldi and the best pizza joint. In three years we’ve had two different doctors, one major surgery, three pregnancies. 

There have certainly been many many ups, but those ups came with a lot of downs. Everyday isn’t easy, and we’ve learned that marriage is work. It doesn’t just come naturally, and it doesn’t just happen. 

What hasn’t changed, and what won’t change are the promises I made to Miguel on August 6th, 2016 in front of God, my friends, and my family. 

I promised to have Miguel “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death parts us, and I pledge you my faithfulness.”

I also agreed to this: “to live with him in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, [obey him], and keep him in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be wife to him as long as you both shall live.”

Those are a lot of promises. Promises that when push comes to shove, it might be easier to break. 

For example, there was a time when the end of the month was drawing near, and we didn’t have the money to afford our rent. We didn’t know what we were going to do, and we didn’t know what would happen if the next month came, and we hadn’t paid. It would have been easier for me to say, “Bye. I’m going back to live with my parents. That’s easier than this” (I won’t mention the fact that my parents definitely wouldn’t have allowed that…). 

But I made a vow, that for richer and for poorer, I was his wife, and I would stand by him. So I did, and we figured it out together. 

We’ve both had times of sickness, and trust me: Miguel with a cold is not the most fun of times… But in sickness and in health, I pledged to be with him. So I served him his soup and ran out to get him Gatorade.

Okay, now I’m not the perfect wife. That’s for sure. I’m a sinner. I’m flawed, and Miguel knows that. He’s not a perfect husband. That’s what makes keeping these vows even more important. If we were perfect, keeping our vows would be easy. We wouldn’t even have to work at it.

Instead, each day, we wake up and choose to work at keeping these vows. Each day we make the choice to love each other. And only by the grace of God have we made it this far. Only by the grace of God will we make it further. 

3 thoughts on “To Have and to Hold

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