Mother’s Day is a day to appreciate my amazing and wonderful mother. But it’s also a day to appreciate being a mother.
The moment God gave me a child, I became a mother. And I have three children. I never held the first two children, but they will forever be my children, and I felt, for few months, what it was like to be a mother. After those few months, I felt what it was like to be a grieving mother.
I know that I have a lot yet to learn about being a mother, but I know what it is like to love as a mother. I know that worry and fear. I know what it’s like to sing to your child, pray for and over your child, and I appreciate every moment God has given me to experience these things.
Now, God has given me a third child. This child, at 19 weeks, is another extraordinary blessing, another miracle. Each child has been.
And I worry for this child. I haven’t had a day of pregnancy without fear. Yes, there is joy. An overwhelming amount of joy and an indescribable joy and love. But still there’s fear. Worry. Nerves.
I was in a very minor car accident a few weeks ago, and I found no moments of peace until I was back in my Doctor’s office listening to the beautiful, strong heart beat that God continues to conduct in the baby growing in my womb.
And yet, how much more fear will I feel when this child starts walking? Riding a bike? Driving? Moves out?
Even so, I am so very thankful for this fear. For the love. For the life. If this is how a mother feels every day, I can’t wait to feel these things every day until I die.
God has given me a gift. God has given me a mother: a perfect (okay, maybe not exactly perfect, but as perfect as a mother can get) example of motherly love, motherly joy, and motherly fear. And God has made me a mother. My tears and thanks are insufficient, but God knows.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, those who hug their children every day and those who don’t. You all are in my prayers.